nyc I guess you must know <> 2006-11-12 19:48:40that I'm going to take a lot of shit for this, but here goes. This one was your best so far. Your stuff is good, at its core. Really good. But you need some serious cleaning up. Learn how to spell and/or type. Learn how to punctuate. And learn how to quit depending on Pabst Blue Ribbon to end your stories for you. Be a man. Come up with a real ending. A real ending all your own. Most of all -- and here's where I think my fundamental criticism lies -- get over your self-esteem problem. You can blow paraplegics in the quarter video stalls because that's all you've got left (that's how you sound), or you can blow paraplegics in the quarter video stalls because you like it. I have profound respect for the second scenario, but only contempt for the first. People would pay money to have your imagination. You're fucking lucky to have it. Don't squander it. Your writing sounds like, "Hey, I'm a pervert." No wonder you get all the red numbers. Quit it. Write your stuff with confidence. Same stuff, but write it with confidence. Make them wonder whether you're a pervert or just a damn good writer. You're not a damn good writer yet. But you can be. Get your mechanics straight, and most of all, quit writing like you already know everybody thinks you're sick. Write like whoever you really are. Some will call you sick. Some will call you a genius. But if you write it well, you're in the clear either way. Meantime, leave PBR out of it. I drink that delicious, fortifying product every night, and you're ruining it for me.