atl Atlanta's I-20 Racers < - > 2007-01-13 15:24:43
in the transgender porn that i watched with my dad, seemed pretty cool and a good place to work for a guy like me with limited reading and math skills due to my mom’s cocaine and heroin abuse during pregnancy. i went to several jobsites looking for muscular homos desperate to take a three hour break with a borderline retarded boy, but it seems that, that only happens in the movies. after about 2 weeks of searching, i found employment at a cross-dressing concrete company. being the low man on the totem pole, i was expected to satisfy the higher echelons of the workforce when necessary. this included the lunch truck guy and any homeless negroes wandering about. it was hard work, but honest, and i only contracted five forms of VD on my first job. things were going great for a few years until my bunghole couldn’t take the stress any more and i applied for permanent disability. shortly after, i got depressed and started using drugs. i guess you know the rest. whilst scoring narcos one year, i bought some beer to take off the edge and discovered this majestic beverage was a far better substitute for crack or anal plugging than anything i had ever tried before. this product was and is called pabst blue ribbon. thanks pbr!

This falls under the heading of?..........

nyc heh < - > 2007-01-15 09:07:49
One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty PBR beer cans and MADDOG bottles. "Wow , Bob, looks like you guys had one big party last night" the mailman comments. Bob in obvious pain replies, "Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first time I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for the weekend and it got a bit wild. We got so drunk around midnight that we started playing "WHO AM I?" The mailman thinks a moment and says, "How do you play that?"! "Well, all the guys go in the bedroom, and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and only our 'privates' showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is." The mailman laughs and says, "I'm sorry I missed that." "Probably a good thing you did," Bob responds. "Your name came up four or five times...."

Just found this little gem -pretty fuckin funny-unknown

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

This one always makes me tear up-authur unknown

sfo My First BlowJob < - > 2007-01-28 12:35:51
so this morning i woke up in the drunk tank with no shirt on, just my bra. I think it was due to the all the whiskey sours and redbulls i was drinking, but then it also could have been from the adrenline that only knife fighting in close quarters can give you, i cant be quite sure. anyway, who cares, i am the ass kicking leggy longed-haired princess who does what ever the fuck i want. so i took two excstacy pills right there in the jail cell and proceded to gently smack my over sized breasts against awaiting lips of the next girl over, jasmine i think she said was her name.. yes, it was quite the scene.. she then slipped her hand up my somewhat torn black skirt and took out my ample pbr-can sized cock, much bigger than jasmines BTW, and blew my mind!

Almost puked on this one -Author unknown

dlh while at a local war protest, i started to < - > 2007-01-29 16:48:36
kiss this guy open-mouthed. almost immediately i tasted cum. so clearly, he had been sucking someone just moments before and it's quite possible the person came in his mouth (or it could have merely been pre-cum, not sure, but the taste was pretty strong). i immediately plunged my tongue down his throat and sucked the inside of his mouth. then i gargled his 'other' man cum in my throat. then i adored his cock with my mouth... i had wet dreams that night that the cum in his mouth (which was then transferred to my mouth) was teeming with HIV, syphillis, and herpes, and I LOVED it!!! how long would it have taken for herpes sores to break out all over the outside and inside of my mouth? geeze, all I could think was how an innnocent little tongue kiss could lead to such kinky results. thanks for nothing, PBR!

Who ever wrote this please step forward

nsh took a walk down to the local war protests < - > 2007-01-29 17:21:11
and things were pretty tough. corey feldman and i were squatting in a cold water flat south of broadway where we barely made food money by cage dancing for the newly rich gay war protesting scene. the only problem was that all these tech savy hipsters kept mistaking our down and out post modern look as some kind of ultra cool attitude. we were like gods to them, and they wouldn't leave corey's anus alone. corey was taking it pretty hard too as there was an apple conference in town. at one point corey pissed off one of the hardened lesbians with an idle remark about contracting without a license and she ended up stepping on his neck for fifteen minutes... you know? semi retarded people get a lot less slack than full blown cases, pity. on top of this, corey's refusal to agree that, yes, charles is in fact in charge, finally led to the ultimate demise of our friendship. anyway, it was around about that time that i met kimmy, my new porsche driving bisexual blogging girlfriend. sometimes outside of our german engineered automobile window, we would see corey catching a muni with a gold sequined leotard and we would snap pictures of him for our blog, clink freshly opened PBR's, and never look back. thanks PBR!

nyc PBR STORY!! < - > 2007-01-29 17:38:46
I was a little puny to take up the sport of prize fighting but my uncle Mike said it would make a man out of me. I had been living with uncle Mike since my mom was sentenced to the Arizona state hospital for the criminaly insane and morally funky. The other guys beat me up less if I did favours for them at shower time , getting towels letting them use my fresh smelling towels or my very fragrant but masculine body wash. In the ring was another story they beat me quite senseless because of my proffesionally frosted hair and manicured nails as well as my shaved chest and scrotal area. I thought I would never fit in until I met Julio a convicted one man gang rapist and flaming trisexual,at first I was just another abused anus to him until he found out I was also very capable at needle point as well as colon grooming(so important to a Latin prize fighter). His corparate sponsor got him out of prison and its to them I owe my marriage of violence and anal rippage. THANKS PBR!!

nyc PBR!!! MOTHERFUCKER!! < - > 2007-01-29 18:29:16
It was late and I guess I had one too many and didnt even have cab fair, so im walking or more like stumbling down the street trying to get home and I guess I was somewhere around the meatmarket when I decide to sit down and take a rest. To my amazement and utter horror I woke up to several 60ish to 70ish scabcovered transvestites dancining and prancing about me carrying torches and waggling their scab covered wino wangs in my face!! I was terrefied to the point of tinkiling in my skin tight gold spandex pants but at the same time my erection was nearly ripping the crotch out of my favorite evening attire. I thought they might kill me and hoped they might rape me.At this point I started to notice these werent just any run of the mill hobo rapist but were a gang of elderly ,transexual ,hobo ,performance artists and I was to be tonights "ART". The first of the old men smelled of Boones farm and rancid cock cheese as well as Chanel # 5 ,he was wearing a cute little number by Prada that clashed with his grey mud covered golashes. The whole scene was a blur Gucci handbags and Converese sneakers , the flying jizz ,Halston dresses and the stench of these creative geniuses favorite drink permeating the violation of my oh too willing gaping anus. The drink of course was PABST BLUE RIBBON thanks PBR!!

Soon to be made into an After school special!

sfo Thank Craig for Friday nights..... < WierdLoad > 2007-02-09 19:06:15
Every Friday Night, my guido friends and i gather for an intense night of cocaine snorting and group sex. we begin our evenings eating pasta and watching good fellas. my dad is in the construction business, so he has the money to help fund our expensive habbits. most in our group are guys, so if we want pussy, we usually have to pay for it, another expense paid for by my dad. after watching some snuff films, we break out the condoms. sometimes, we forget the condoms, but oh well, it doesn't matter too much. plus, i like the idea of my semen flowing inside body cavities. we oil our bodies up and and pile on top of each other to produce one giant blob of moving, writhing flesh. soon after, we crash from the coke, kick the girls out, jack each other off, and pass out until we have to wake up and spend another week at our terribly mindless day trading jobs. thanks for nothing, PBR!

Dr. Snuggleballs strikes again! Couldnt figure a good pic for this

nyc it was a glorious morning as I awoke < - > 2007-02-10 09:54:00
to a hot, humid roach infested motel off the California strip. My asshole was still seemingly debating whether or not to allow the anal lube to crust as it dries, or stay subtely moist with an occasional drip of semen from the long night before. i had picked up Devan from the seedy motel bar, he was half trashed from days on end of smoking meth. However he was easily seducable. I could clearly see reflections of my penis in his glazed over eyes, while we were in the mens room. Devan became hostile on his insistance to perform anal sex, and his insanity from smoking meth for a week. I allowed him to my room, and on his doped up personality, he was able to perform hours of anal sex to me. He came repeatedly in my ass, and sucked me dry for hours. Eventually I became thirsty, and ordered up a pitcher of luke warm, flat PBR from the bar below. I always remember that night whenever I taste a mellow pbr.

This is a true story ,I know the guy.......

sfo Little billy was only 13 when he realized he had < WierdLoad > 2007-02-11 07:50:19
a great eye for detail. He would sit and watch his uncle Zero meticulously preload his rigs for mass distribution on the street,(stomping the heroin with pbr) catering specifically to the tranny groups of Savannah. By the time little billy was 17, he had achieved fame and fortune by publicly trading his shares of his secret state-wide. He had a profitable business owning 40+ transexuals whether pre-op or post-op, which he pimped on a 24 hour basis, expressing "BAREBACK" as the main theme. Without the brilliance of Uncle Zero, and the refreshing loads of PBR, little billy would have probably ended up a stock broker like his dadda.

Oh Snuggleballs ♥

hnl It was a dark and stormy night < you-can-call-me-EARL > 2007-02-18 18:14:21
or so I was told. I couldnt varify that as I playing the submissive anal sex slave, forced to wear slutty female attire, with a rubber cat mask over my head, blocking my eyes and ears, while being kept in my "cage" in Master Bryces' basement. The only holes in my suffocating mask were two little inlets around my nostrils for air, a small opening for my tongue, and an enema hole under the tail of my suit. Master Bryce enjoyed urinating in the enema tube, while every now and again also like to share his PBR's with me by pouring it thru the tube, and asking (in a demanding manor) "Can you taste it?" Many times we enjoyed this type of sexual endearments, but it finally took its toll when I became fat and bloated, and he became disenchanted from my newly growing 'love handles', which exposed rolls of fat, even thru the rubber costume. Eventually, Master Bryce was so disgusted, he traded me in for a new anal whore, but I'll always remember those precious pbr moments...

Thank you UNKNOWN Authour-hope you aint locked up

Went to Home Depot got out the Sentra and stepped in a big pile of dog crap! Had the glosshes on tho NBD. God did that ever stink up the aisles.
Then did my usu and went to Lowes and got a Polish and a cup of hot coco... :)! As I was gettin in my Sentra, a big bird crapped on my head as I was takin off my cap. I think it was a Crow or maybe a Vulture - couldn't really see as it was startin to sleet. Sucked a 12oz just to be able to drive home... can it get any worse? On the way home a deer jumped out in front of me an Wham! Blood on the Windshield! haha - Better than a 22 and real quiet. I gutted the thing right there and then - while it was still warm and sort of twitchin'.. but not for long.
Kept the heart to eat for dinner (I got a great recipie!) Dumped the carcass off at Joes da Butcher - note pinned neatly on - "Dues Paid - SBB"
Then as I was drivin in the drive - Smoke started to billow out under the hood - CAR ON FIRE!
uh, well, I pissed on the fire cuz had to go really bad from the 12er - that was enough to put the fire out. Guess I'll shower now - Makin Rice Puddin and Deer Heart etc. for dinner yummmmmm! :)!PBR Pabst blue ribbon.


Had to be done to archive this.

NON PBR story but it does have beer

njy When I was a kid < kickedoutofhell > 2006-05-28 11:16:29
It was maybe July or August 1977 or it could have been 78 super hot and boring most of my friends left town to go down the shore. My dad was down at Klinskies on the corner drinking beer and watching the Yankee game with his pals. The phone rang and it was my dad asking me to run to the store and get some cigs. for him and his friends because the machine was broke again ,keep in mind this is when a little kid could get smokes if they siad they were for there dad or whatever. I got there and gave him the cigs. and told him he owed the store 3 bucks . I figured I would hang out and drink some cokes eat some pretzels and maybe score a couple bucks off my dad or some other drunk goofball. Im not real sure what was going on with the game but the word FUCK seemed real popular regarding the Yanks ,everyone was screaming about there bets and how niggers shouldn't have been let in the game in the first place. Around the end of the 9th with the FUCK thing still going on Frankie the Midget showed up. Frankie was a fixture in the nieghborhood and every one either liked him or tolerated him because he was a midget,he was also an alkie. Frankie hated my dad because my dad was in the marines and Vietnam and got medals and stuff .I guess maybe it was the midget thing or the drinking but Frankie always liked to challenge my dad to contest like arm wrestling or drinking contest or whatever.The challenge of the day for little Frank was push ups . My dad is and was a bit of a sadist but he always took Franks challenges .

njy When I was a kid 2 < kickedoutofhell > 2006-05-28 11:39:17
Franks challenges sort of for real but not to the point of being retarded .Frank was always allowed to win so that they could give him money for beers and smokes cause Frank was always broke. At the time my dad was only something like 32 or 35 and still in good shape he could do a hundred pushups on one arm even after working/drinking all day. He (mydad) did fifty and started mouthing off that Frankie couldn't touch it cause he was a midget and a drunk but Frank was used to this treatment ,I guess it's common to treat drunk midgets bad or at least it was then. Frankie finished his beer that he got on cred and jumped rite down and started doing his pushups he did great he passed my dads fifty in no time and was still going. Everyone in the bar was screaming and hooting and saying they would get Frank a beer when he won the bet.The word FUCK was still there but this time it was a good thing .The big money lost on the Yanks was even forgot about. I can't be sure but I guess Frank made it to about 70 or 75 before the massive heart attack. He was really doing good up until then. My dad gave the money Frankie won to his mom and then my dad and his friends took off from work for another three days to drive to Boston and then to North Carolina to tell the funny story about killing a midget. He almost got fired and my mom was real mad at him. THE END.

Non PBR request for help!

nyc Sorry to repost but its very important < - > 2007-01-13 20:36:40
My dad and my self have become deeply ensconced in the gay and trans gendered life style ,we are both having a lot of fun and meeting new and very interesting people. The only downside we have encountered is that with the never ending rise in cost of all petroleum products i.e gas oil etc. the price of lubricants so necessary to this unique and fulfilling pastime will soon make our new and exciting hobby unobtainable to dad and myself on a full time basis. Now to the point of this post.I know that everyone is having hard times financially so I would never be so bold as to request any of my friends or aqcuaintances let alone family members for cash in this lube emergency.But it would be very helpful if you could indulge my lover (my dad) in a small favor. The amount of food most Americans consume is so filled with sugar and fat that there always seems to be residual amounts of lard ,grease and other oily substances that can be used as improvised anal lubricants or I.A.L.s as there commonly referred to.These slippery and slimy leftovers from for example a meal of bacon and eggs usually find there way into the trash which is very wasteful and selfish considering the hours of joy any lubricant especially if it were to contain crispy chunks of delicious bacon or some other food could bring to members of the gay community. A simple plastic pail available at any dollar or 99 cents store can help so many in there time of need .The only other small embarrassment besides carrying a pail of anal lube with you to lunch breakfast, brunch and dinner will be having to wring out any uneaten hashbrowns ,freedom fries or southern fried chicken in you're anal pail.Any embarrassment and inconvenience will soon turn into pride as word spreads about you're heartfelt act of kindness that can help those in a time of need. What do I do with my bucket of anal lube when full? You ask. Simply drop it off in any of the convenient anal lube collection centers located in the heart of New York cities Greenwich Village or San Francisco or any downtown area throughout the U.S. and Canada. Thank you my friend for you're support . J.T.B.

NON PBR strory

sfo Didnt like it? Why? < - > 2006-07-21 08:45:32
I went down to the basement to feed dog girl her kibble just like any other day. On this day just like normal I examined her crotch with my walking stick and decided against fucking her due to the dried feces matted in her pubic hair . I told her to roll over and play dead and made her sit up and beg for a scrap of food then set her bowl down and made her wait in her HOLD position for about 15 minutes or so before letting her eat on my command. I layed back in the Laz-boy with my eyes closed stroking myself hard waiting for the dog-girl to suck my cock in appreciation of her daily meal. I listened to the scaping and lapping noises as she cleaned her food dish shiny with her tongue like always. The noise stopped and I was expecting wet lips on my dick so I opened my eyes to watch. I looked up and saw dog-girl holding her leash in her hands before I could react it was around my throat and I was struggling for air. I am now dog-boy , shes trying to make me learn to hunt rabbits , she loans me to other dog lovers like Mr Slappy and Mr punchy the worst is Mr Fisty.

Big thank you to Fabbri, Word Ho & Kohno

nyc Ski Lab-Meth Lab, visited < Kohno > 2005-07-01 07:46:02
A joint venture between the Russian Mafia and representatives of US based biker gangs has occupied the sky lab in order to manufacture the purest for of methamphetamine known to man, Los Vagabundos, Gypsy Jokers, Pagans, Lithuania Leftist, Armenian thief’s in Law, Russian racketeers all occupy what is now called, skylab/methlab. They arrived at the abandon sky lab in the earliest know space shuttle they bought at auction from NASA on e-bay. It was made by American Machine and Foundry (AMF) using the latest bowling alley technology, they used the best materials from their Hatteras Yacht line and the power train came from their Harley Davidson Division. The ships engines were twin 80 cubic foot Super Glide Harley Davidson engines. As all AMF HD engines this one leaked oil badly so the Russians outfitted the ship with a used stainless steel Pabst Blue Ribbon 7BB conical bottom fermentation tank with glycol jacket on the side wall full and of 5w30 motor oil that was continually pumped to the engines oil line via condensation pump and copper lines to keep a steady level of oil in the AMF shuttle motors. The tanks were lashed to the side of the shuttle with heat resistant strapping materials.

sfo Five Million Cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon < word_ho > 2005-02-19 14:01:10
Have we consumed five million cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon yet? All encompassing, all-consuming volume. Summertime leisure, wintertime indifference. Hot dogs, corn dogs, pizza, or Chinese take out? Does anyone here even fly a plane? Broken chair leg, divorces, newspaper, porno and Perry Mason. Portland lights to country stars in less than an hour. Straight through, he is sweat and truth, I think I have fallen in love with you. Cactus, a candle and would someone please do the dishes? She counts the rubbers when she’s here, big hair and full mouth, not a bad ass either. Two is too much, but one is not enough. Glory of the callouses on your hands, anger in the blood from your cut. Flowered paper lampshade doesn’t stand a chance. Lust for men’s backs, chests, shoulders just out of reach. Paper thin walls assure the truth, no heartache here for loss of youth.

sfo Dr. Phil/wife beating/commercial/shit < fabbri > 2005-01-23 04:52:07
(smack, smack) selfish fool. you're watching the late night movie on Kfab (cut to a commercial) Dr. Phil teaches how to trim nose hairs, not only 'how to', but 'how to', "correctly" -Oh, so they don't grow back? Yes, smiles with teeth space, horney, backward bald ass head, (cut to new/old late night movie) on Kfab. (filthy, filth) keep your hand outta your plate. Black and white, film "So, ya did my wife?" "Ya, you did my wife, huh?" (punch, kick, smash) Depressed totally, poor guy! Write a book maybe ten years or more will go by, Some life yo, huh, Some life. (boom, crash, bye!) Angry Italian Man- smacks his wife. Boxing match, police can't stop. Sesame street teaches counting to ten, backwards and back again. 1950 relationships (lament) Teeth go by flying and meatballs half chewed yet bruised up against red and white striped, kids table lower than the adults. Mr. Roboto, domy dohmo. Collagemo, collage me a million dollar picture. Will you remove me? If I talk loudly? Get atta here? I asked you nicely... (out steps a big steamy elephant load) Scare faced and tripping on the way Pabst blue ribbon tastes. Yo, you aint got no Corona?...damn... ...eat a celery stick, you sick twit. I love you... I admire you... in your wrestling ring of life... ...oh what round is it? watching the pretty woman... ding...shhhh ding ding ding ding... oh, her poster bends and webs the round number, squiggles, numbered 8. "...next is 9, do you know your line?" OK, dong. end of 8, "ok watch for the first swing... watch he'll just... fall down...." lips licked... "see"..."see"..."ya I saw", so pure, so pure, so pure.. He hit him right dead in the jaw. -upper cut, cameras flashes - so bright. up against the ring ropes - tight. bloody hope- Pure as thought. Do you really think I give a shit? Yo-old friend, if you think about how I think about your shitty shit...That's some stupid ass shit. Shitty shit aint worth thinking about. Ya know, you little shit. Don't let another minute go by, thinking about this shit. _______ 1/22/05 to be continued

bos How about me I write lots < - > 2006-11-01 13:48:41
When my grampa died we were all pretty sad < - > 11/01 13:11:16 because he was a pretty cool old guy .He lived on the oppositte coast from my family proper but we spoke on the phone alot so still remained close even though he only visited once a year. Granma had passed away before my birth in a watermelon rind pickling accident that nearley cost him his sanity due to the fact that it was HIS watermelon that killed the old gal,but he percervered. As the closest to gramps house I was elected to leave school and search his house and buildings for anything valuable before the movers showed up. While I was looking thru an outbuilding on my 2nd day of my treasure hunt I came across gramps woodworking tools .I almost cried thinking about grampa sitting at his workbench working for hours on end sweating swearing and laughing as he produced some of the finest wooden dildos and vaginas in the US ,his calloused old hands lovingly touching the wood while he laughed his toothless laugh and drank a PBR whilst fondling his throbbing erection in his stained work pants. Suffice to say a tear came to my eye and I mangled my testicles in a wood lathe and did 4 months in intensive care. God bless grampa and god bless Pabst Blue Ribbon.

nyc I had just got out of a military hospital not < - > 2006-11-01 16:16:41
feeling super great my left testicle looked like a hamburger patty from wendys and smelled like a rotting seagull boiling on a beach of human excrement for several days in august . As usual it was a Pabst Blue Ribbon related accident involving a few midget crossdressers (same OL story). Thats by no means important ,as im limping along trying to find a place that sells PBR or a nubile young and preferably cheap asian teenage prostitute. I digress, I really didn't need the cheap prostitute as much as the PBR. With some good ol Ameriocan made PBR, they all look like cheap asian prostitutes. Hey we've all been there, throbbing man sacks, teenage asian whores trying to scarf your last cig, and all the while everything seemingly a dream as you down that clean, crisp PBR, one can at a time, case after case. My fondest memory of PBR and a teenage asian prostitute was while driving to Florida from Maine in the Summer of 52 with my parents..they weren't keen on the prostitute but dad enjoyed her after mom past out from the PBR -LOL. AHHH, good times.

nyc Better? < - > 2006-11-03 13:25:56
I remember having to walk to the store rain or shine winter or summer to buy cigarettes for her while she lay in bed completely hung over from a night of cheap liquor and sex with one of my many "uncles". It was no wonder that I started to hang out at the truckstop to hear the truckers tales of exotic places like Toledo or Oklahoma city. Our town didnt have much going on since the plant closed which was inevitablle, no one really eats pickled cat anymore. Eventually due to my attraction to large unbathed men I began sucking cock for a living. It was rainy and cold when I climbed up in the cab and tried to shake off the cold, my nostrils immediatelly filled with the oh too familiar aromas of diesel, old pall-mall smoke and dried pre-semenal penis discharge. And then it hit my nose and sent a shiver down my spine and made my testicles squirm with delight. "What is that heavenly intoxicating aroma wafting about my good man?" Of course the trucker didnt answer he simply punched me hard in the Adams apple and said "Suck me you little man-whore." So it was off to work for me. I found out later as the trucker beat me close to unconsciousness for not swallowing everydrop that the smell that was still in my mind was nothing other than Pabst Blue Ribbon. Its been several years since that lifechanging night and as a result I now travel Americas highways and byways looking for a good skullfuck all the while wackin back delicious PBRs. Thanks PBR.

nyc A story for the holidays < - > 2006-11-03 15:08:55
My dad was killed in a severe hemmoroidal flare up so I pretty much raised myself and not to good either ,by the time I was in my late teens I had joined a gang called the "drippy colon holes" and was frequently staying out all night. My mom couldnt do much with me as she was busy running an illegal armadillo breeding business in our garage and she had taken up sniffing armadillo feces to get high with her new Guatamaulen boyfriend Pepe. An elderly retired nieghbor guy who all us kids made fun of and called "elderly retired neighbor guy" decided to befriend me and to try and step in as a father/lover figure. He loved fishing hunting and sodomy .I remember our 1st fishing trip and the clean crisp taste of the refreshing Pabst Blue Ribbon that slaked my thirst and cleared the lingering flavor of his 73 year old semen from my throat. He has been dead for a few years now (choked on an Elks penis) as well as mom(Overdosed on Armidillo fecal speedballs). Its the same old story I guess a young man an old man both with a passion for quality beer and sportsmanship in the outdoors sharing a sleeping bag nude. Thanks PBR.

2006-11-04 09:24:59
I was a little deperessed about the move and starting at a new school.I missed my old friends and the laughter we shared at the expense of others and the elderly and infirm. X mas morning I could hear them downstairs giggling and unwrapping gifts ,I stroked my morning wood and fumbled on my night stand for my meds and went down stairs to do my "I give a fuck" about xmas dance with my retarded family. My sisters were home from college and were modeling various types of lingerie and thong underwear for my dad just like every xmas as dear old dad sat there drinking a frozen margarita and puffing occassionaly on his favorite bong. As I entered the room I cracked a loud wet fart that made the sound of granite splitting . After exchanging dirty looks with my sisters and kissing my dad merry xmas (with tongue) I began to open my gifts . I got a pretty good sweater from my mom ,I really dont know how she did her shopping seeing as how she had been institutionalised for putting the neighbor kids hand in a blender and throwing tampons at Rabbis. I was about to leave when my oldest sister said in her shrieking voice "you missed one gift fuck nuts". When I opened it I didnt really know what it was at first,low and behold my uncle Stinky had sent me a huge buttplug and a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Well needless to say things worked out great the next year ,both my sisters were raped and murdered and I got all there clothes and dad was finally caught by the feds so I got the house and a pretty good chunk of cash which I used to purchase PBR and meds. Thanks PBR.

nyc The peace corps is for helping people < - > 2006-11-04 13:45:44
But it didnt turn out that way instead I just sat in a mud hut filled with vermin afraid to go outside because of the rebels. Once or twice weekly a 600 lb. native woman would come by for anal sex ,she didnt bathe and sometimes her crack was crunchy with dried fecal chunks.It was cheap though about 43 cents U.S. About 4 months in after being raped and robbed by some neighboring villagers a package arrived from the states.I was hoping for anal lube and oreos like my mom,usually sent but instead this package contained the finest beer known to mankind Pabst Blue Ribbon. Things picked up after that my scrotal flaking sort of cleared up and the nest of bugs that had taken to dwelling beneath my nut sack had stopped laying eggs. I figured if you cant beat em join em and started raiding other villages for human flesh and fresh man ass. That was 25 years ago and I still love PBR and colon creeping. Thanks PBR.

nyc I got into drug dealing for the wrong reason < - > 2006-11-04 15:19:19
It was the possibility I could bang a drug addicted family member named Julio who suffered from bleeding hemorroids and spoke with a pronounced lisp. I quit my job at Toys R Us and had a friend front me some smack/coke to begin my evil plan of butt humping my autistic cousin after getting him strung out. Things worked great my cousin crawling around on the floor and drooling encrusted in drying fecal matter and begging to swallow my manmeatloaf for another shot or hit. After I got most of his special Ed. class strung out and considered pimping them to one or more of my suppliers I started thinking maybe this wasnt the rite thing to do. I went to a priest and explained my unique dilemna and he suggested that I bring my 25 year old muscular and nubile but slightly retarded cousin for a visit. When we arrived the old priest sat us down and served refreshments ,ham&cheese sandwiches and a unique and exciting malt beverage I came to find out was called Pabst Blue Ribbon it reminded me of the heavenly taste of a freshly cleaned parapalegics bunghole. I traded my stupid dope addict cousin to the priest for a case of PBR and quit dealing ,went to school and am now a succesful cabinet member in the Bush administration. Thanks PBR.

nyc Rememberance of elections past < - > 2006-11-06 18:25:13
I was a relative newcomer to the entire political thing and was looking forward to casting my 1st vote. My family wasnt really into politics or voting because at that time the polls werent handicap friendly and my dad had his penis nearly blown off in Korea and had to get a transplant from a zebra.Needless to say it was done at the V.A. and the job was completely botched. The infection and subsequent patch job surgeries left him with a nearley three and a half foot member covered with boils ,scabs and bleeding pustules. So after contacting a very Democratiticly active uncle who sometimes liked to play find the cookie in his pants I was ready to get registered and vote. My uncle soon after I registered decided we should celebrate with a delicious American made product called Pabst Blue Ribbon. I voted like my uncle told me to ,the NAMBLA ticket and its virile candidates all the way. I love politics and my uncle Frederick a lot. Thanks PBR.

Special thanks to Old Mack

nyc Can you recall the first time you craved beer? < TheveryOldMack > 2006-11-07 02:39:02
I couldn't hack the taste of beer, but when we came off the Outpost, after 67 days of living in rat's caves too close to our own shit trench and too close to three other unwashed men, the supply sergeant handed each of us two 1 Liter bottles of Asahi Jap beer. It was piss warm and tasted as bad as it smelled. The other men in my squad all drank it with gusto, proclaiming the Japs to be the best beer brewers that side of Milwaukee. I gagged the stuff down, got drunk and into a fight with a Kentucky hillbilly who said: "I don't like your face, kid." We rearranged each others features and passed out. That was the beginning of the long, hot, wet Korean Summer. There was a battle for a mole hill on the hottest day on record. After being bombed by one of our own planes, blown off the damned hill, I pulled myself together and headed for the rear with our outfit. Along the way 3 artillery rounds came in close and blew a couple of men to pieces. Some of that white hot Chink steel hit me in the arm and hearing it sizzle with all of the noise and confusion around me, I had an insane craving for a beer. Any brand of beer, so long as it was bitter and wet would do. I gathered my stuff again and continued down the trail to the edge of a dry rice paddy. There I spotted a foxhole and jumped into it. The hole was deep enough to stand in, but filled with water chest deep. I buried my face in that muck and drank half a Liter. It tasted just like Pabst Blue Ribbon beer. "It was crawlin' and it stunk/ but of all the drinks I've drunk. . . ." that one tasted the most like beer.

nyc My vacation nightmare < - > 2006-11-07 14:44:12
I had always wanted to go to Alaska as a child so when the oppurtunity arose as an adult I leaped with fervour of a horny kangaroo at the chance. Quitting my job at the dildo testing lab wasnt hard I simply told them to shove it and took my stretched bunghole out the door. The guys I were going with all seemed very cool for glue sniffers.I had met them all in an online chatroom for recovering peeping Toms. The flight went great up until the plain hit the mountain,I guess we shouldnt have given the pilot roofies in his coffee but he was so nice and polite. Long story short we had to turn to cannibilsm after only about 45 minutes due to boredom. After a very rough and terrifying afternnoon in the wilds about 15 miles outside of Pocattello Idaho we were rescued by some teenagers drinking beer in the parking lot slightly downhill from the crash site. I was so desperate for any form of sustinance as were we all that when the muscular 19 year olds demanded we suck there cocks or they wouldnt help us,we all immediately dropped drooling to our knees with delight and anticapation of a tasty treat. The young guns gave us beef jerky and a unique beverage that was like a wave crashing on a homeless man sleeping on the beach to my pallette. This gift from God turned out to be PABST blue RIBBON I have been a lover the red white and blue since that afternoon. Thanks PBR!!

Sickness < - > 11/08 09:36:27

There I was shivering cold with my guts writhing in pain as I sweated and wished for death ,yes I was dope sick again with no money to get well.
I knew where to get money but needed a little just to get well enough to move from my 85 dollar a week flophouse room.
So I just layed there curled in the fecal position.

The door opened and in walked my friend Hector he immediatley set to work at my hotplate to remedy my sad situation.
When the needle hit the vein I immediattly started to feel better ,in less than a minute I was nearley %100 just a little groggy.
Hector shot me up with a half a bag expecting me to pay him back a whole bag .
Our usual practice .
After I splashed my face and rinsed with germ killing listerine I tried to get myself together to go get some money before the half a bag wore off.But Hector woudnt stop babbling about some girl he had jerked off on in the subway early that morning ,he was really pissing me off so I threw a can of green giant cream corn at his left temple rendering him instantly unconcsiece.

I started walking to the judges house to get some money .The judge was a real retired circuit judge who liked me to dress up in a ballerina tu-tu and brush his hair while I sang christmas carols and he stroked his judiscias member.
For this I got 50 bucks ,he always promised if I pissed on him he would give me more money .I never took the old freak up on it as I hadnt been that desperate until that day.

I had just finished a Bing Crosby tune and was about to start Jingle Bells when the judge asked if today was the day?
Yes I told him and told him to get ready for a special treat .The judge layed down on the floor and waited for my treat .It happens that after I get sick then well my intestines do funny things and they were grumbling like a nursing home patient being served cold soup.

The first blast of shit hit the old judge with the pressure of a fire hose knocking him flat on his back the 2nd and last blast blinded him in its toxic watery greeness.

He screamed and wailed in delight in ecstasy holding his weenie in one hand and a steaming turd in the other.

I told the wretched old freak that I was gonna split cause I had to go score some shit he mumbled thru gags of ecstasy that the money was in a kitchen drawer and something that sounded like "I love you". I snagged the cash about 2 hunge and was gonna beat feet but decided to help my self to a couple beers for the train ride uptown. On the train I cracked a beer and when it hit my tongue I was in immediatte ecstasy . I held the can tight so I wouldnt drop it ,like a momma Bald eagle would hold an infant flying back to feed it to her eaglettes. The brand was Pabst Blue ribbon and my life changed from that day on ,no more dope sickness for me ,I moved in with judge and he supports my smack habit and I support his addiction to bodily functions of another man. Thanks PBR.

nyc Why does everyone hate my stories < - > 2006-11-09 07:39:26
It was getting cold out and all I had to wear was a lightweight jacket from the Salvation Army ($1.50)not much good walking to work in the early NYC winter winds at 4:00 am. On my way home from the job I would see overfed families fro New Jersey and Conneticuit rushing along to catch there early dinner reservations clutching gifts for there xmas trees covered with fake spray can snow. I was determined to make a go of it in the city and become a successful peepshow cleanup man but it was a tough industry to break into.And the only work I could find was in an all night enema parlour downtown where I got paid by the job not the hour and being new I had no clientelle. So I would trudge home after a gruelling 12 hour shift with the stench of enema clingining to my hair and clothes. One cold wet day as I trudged mournfuly along with hate in my heart and feces on my sleeve A delighful mishap changed my life a typical transvestite streetwalker was in the process of beating down a Hasidic man who had apparently tried to skate without paying for a slurp session . The muscular and nubile young tranny had no problem trouncing the Hasid and rob him of every dime he had as I looked on in delight. When she was finished she wiped her blood stained fake nails on her boa and flashed me a tender smile and asked if I would like to get in out of the cold for a few minutes? Of course I did and we ducked into a nearby pub leaving the bloodied penguinish man to bleed to death in the street. That was the 1st time I ever tasted the majestic brew known as Pabst Blue Ribbon and from that moment on I never looked back and now have 12 trannies in my stable of whores and a new coat and drink PBR all day and collect money from AIDS infected street hustlers. Thanks PBR.

nyc Momma died and daddy < - > 2006-11-09 14:22:27
wasnt doing too well .We had always worked the farm ourselves without any help but that summer my brother was killed in a sheep raping accident and my two sisters moved to the big city to make internet porn. I was left alone trying to run the whole operation ,I had no choice but to take on some help even though the farms budget was low. I contacted the local authorities and was directed to a mostly gay motorcycle gang in our area that needed some work in the off months from there full time jobs as exotic dancers/crank dealers. They were great guys and could really swallow a load either from me or dad even though he was hooked up to a heart lung machine and probably didnt want them to.Dad would squirm until he achieved an unconsciece erection and then he would shoot a copious load in spiders eyeball and we would all laugh and divide daddies meds between ouselves to keep the party going. About the 3rd month they were there I noticed several checks missing and money from the bank account.I totally freaked and realised it was my gay biker drug addicted friends who were stealing from me. I had no choice but to call the law and they all got serious time after that dad passed away and I had him cremated and his ashes spread through out his favorite porn shop. While going thru the bikers things I found some kind of beer and decided to try it .Oh my the joy that permeated my soul as the bubbly liquid slid passed my tongue .What could this be ? It was Pabst Blue Ribbon and since that day I have been ok and the farm is doing great .I grow a sub species of the popular African thunder fuck Marijuana on most of our property and rent the rest out to nudist pedophiles. Thanks PBR.

nyc Uplifting story < - > 2006-11-09 16:18:09
I thought that I might freeze to death but the steaming entrails laying on the floor of the Chinese sausage factory where I worked kept me warm.I was only 18 and had just got kicked out of my nice suburban home by my step mom after a long bout of depression due to my obbsession with my stinky penis. My dad was a pussy and only wanted to bone his new wife without a care for the horrible stench emulating from his only sons scrotal/penile area. My job in the cat sausage factory could have been a dead end until I met Mr. Ling he was a retired chinese porn actor who enjoyed crossdressing and the taste of boiled virgin pubic hair. The quaint old Chinamen loved the smell of my putrid sack and befriended me like a son. There after he died tragicly trying to have sex with a goat milking machine. I roamed aimlessley for years until I found myself employed at the famous Dr.Smiths all boy dance and colon twitching review. My roomate at the time was a Norwegian hemopheliac with severe violent tendencies due to his years of Viking man to man rape. One day he showed up after a night of sodomy and anal violence with his bloody colon dangling like a squashed pigeon and just before passing out into a 11 month coma he handed me a couple cans of a mysterious new drink. It turned out to be PABST BLUE RIBBON and after a taste or two it dawned on me that this beverage from the Gods would also makle a great scrotal deodarant . Suffice to say my sack now only smells like stale beer and my life is great ,I now work at an all male skating ring as a cumtaster and my life couldnt be better. Thanks PBR.

nyc Another wasted thought from my mind < - > 2006-11-09 17:10:25
I knew better than to take the dumb part time job from a handbill at the student union. It seemed like a good deal at the time,jerking off homeless men to test the flavour of there sperm to flavour chewing gum to sell to elderly homosexuals who were too ugly to get dick anymore,simple. My 3rd day at the lab I had a session with a guy named gummy ,he was called that because he had lost all of his teeth in a radiation experiment in the 50s while in the army. I had never felt love before especially the kind that can be experienced on a young man to older toothless radiation victom level. The lab experiments went no where of course old homosexuals can tell the difference between the satisfying flavour of fresh semen as opposed to that of old processed homeless guy sperm.But Gummy and I kept contact and on his dying day in a VA hospital in the east bay he told me the secret of life.The secret being a strange and satisfying collection of fetid water ,hops,barley and strange ingredients from Wisconsin that we all know as Pabst Blue Ribbon . Thanks PBR and thanks you homeless nut job .

nyc Alone in a group < - > 2006-11-09 17:52:54
of flaming homosexuals . I had just got a part time job with the New Orleans police dpatrments fag suppression unit as an undercover operative during Mardis Gras as a rape decoy. The cold Febuarary rain ran down my back as I felt the hands of several large and very drunk men fondle my anal love button. It was sometime around this point but not before the cigar on the foreskin fiasco that I realised my back up was probably drunk and using our surveilence van to butt fuck cajun hookers. Using my best Bruce Lee tiger form of mountain kung foo move ,I dropped to my knees and quickly satisfied at least 8 hung guys. With a quick back flip and a minimul amount of semenal ingestion I broke the binds that were lovingly holding me in there rapists grips while at the same time pulling out my own 9MM. wang . I started firing at the largest one but towards the end of the 2nd clip I knew that even wounded ,I was to be the evening meal. Later on in the hospital having my colon refurbished using parts from the endangered but still useful for sphincter transplant Manatee,it dawned on me that if I had just of went along I wouldnt be here in the hospital bleeding rectally. My debriefing at the NOPD included a lot of a satisfying new beverage that blended well with the opiates from my anal rape ,it was called PABST BLUE RIBBON. Since that day when people feel liking raping me I go with the flow. Thanks PBR.

nyc After a minor < - > 2006-11-09 18:50:12
drug arrest I was sent to a ranch type first offender program in McCloud country ,that means New mexico. I fucked around with roping riding ,fence building all that shit. all the while plotting how I could just find a way to get high.....some how. it turned out that the only way to get high on the "Ranch" was to snort dried squirrell semen ,sure it was a tough job catching those littlte bastards and an even tougher job to jerk them off without ripping there tiny match like cocks off there bodies as I yanked and stroked the furry little dope machines in a junkie lust to get high on anything. My only friend was a mentaly retarded native American boy named "plays with the diseased " he was a sight to be seen worshipping his strange and exotic gods in the morning light stretching his tight and taught tanned 19 year old body as he smeared goat feces on his balls and eyes. After a few months the ongoing wagering on male pregnancie became very old and my little swarthy Indian buddy and myself decided to make a break. When the state troopers caught us and decided to teach us a firm and very hard southwestern lesson in street justice my friends colon wasnt up to the job and his blood the same as his forfathers was spilled from his anus on the desert floor. I was befriended by a flaming homosexual trooper who allowed me to only be used by 23 other cops and I escaped with my life. About the 3rd year in the basement of the state trooper barracks as a slave I was given a special treat for taking on all the new cadets. That treat turned out to be PABST BLUE RIBBON and my life in the basement is now satisfying and complete. Thanks PBR.

nyc It was really hot for that < - > 2006-11-09 20:05:11
time of year in the southern part of Georgia for late January we were expecting mostly rain but all we had was boiling heat and scorching sunshine. I had taken this job at a rehab clinic for dope addicted civil war re-enactors because I needed the money to pay my way thru scrotum hair removal school. The hot sun beat down on my nude body as I went about my rounds ,I had absolutely no reason to be nude but everyone was to goofy to give a shit . My first stop was General Grants tent ,he started mouthing off about some crap having to do with battle plans and bugs eating his eyeballs out for molesting a confederate bugle boy. I promptly slapped him down into his cot with my always ready erection and shot him up with morphine in his swollen bumpy ass. Next stop same as any other day was General Lee ,he greeted me at the tent entrance with a hot shot of cum straight to my left temple ,I didnt bother with the niceaties and swiftly sodomised the deranged confedarate into unconsciecse bliss . This went on for months until the heat and the deranged rebel yells of homosexual rape and colon conquest started to grate on my nerves like a firm cheese being grated on al-dante pasta by a bisexual italian waiter. I snapped and decided to quit_______insert your own ending but include PABST BLUE RIBBON.

nyc I was helping the poor < - > 2006-11-12 07:27:56
or something.I would take things from the Wal-mart where I worked and sell them to poor people for like %35 off . I was helping the community but Wally didnt think so. I got hit with 3 to 5 in the cornhole palace ,I was pretty scared and didnt want to become the Maddona of C block so I came up with a plan.I wouldnt bathe ever and I would beat myself against the concrete walls until I was unconcsiece and laying in a pile of my own blood,teeth and feces. Thats how I met Johnny Reb he was older than me and I had never felt such a soft caring hand since mom passed away. Reb looked a lot like Festus from the popular telivision series Gunsmoke with James Arness as Sherriff Matt Dillon. Wether it be inserting a cathater or scraping dead skin from my scrotal region Reb had a touch like no man I had ever met in life. Reb and I got out the same week and decided we would beat out to Cali and make a home together . We were low on bread so Reb would beat off armless young vets returning from Iraq thank God for Halliburton or me and Reb would have starved. When we got to Cal it was kind of a let down and the only work Reb could find was as cleanup boy at a 24 hour abortion clinic the pay was bad but Reb would bring food from work. I couldnt work due to my repeated acts of self abuse in the joint so stayed home and took a lot of meds.On the way back from the store I spotted an old feable lady trying to carry a large shopping bag up some steps ,having an aunt about the same age I knew the rite thing to do. I hit her a quick punch to the larnyx and grabbed her bag of goodies after a kick in the face that sent her dentures flying and a well placed karate chop to the cunt I headed home with my present for Reb. The bag contained a deliscious and fortifying beverage called PABST BLUE RIBBON and a scratch off ticket worth $60,000 also the oldsters food and depends adult diaper supply for that a month.After that things picked up for me and Reb and depends are really comfy. THANKS PBR.

nyc 1987 the year not the other thing < - > 2006-11-13 18:42:26
My mommy and daddy were both talented circus freaks ,you probably seen or heard of them . My dad could shove any object from the audience into any oriface of his body. My mommy could peel scabs from her inner uteral wall and crush it into a powder and snort it like it was cocaine all the while standing on her head and juggling flaming puppies and dildos. Those were the good times ,the happy times. Dad was tragicly killed trying to insert an accordian up his ass .Mommy held him in her arms as he bleed away ,having nothing to comfort her but her own vaginal drugs. Soon after mommy deliberately overdosed on her own a mixture of scabby crotch scabs and Tanqeray. I ended up on the lower echelon of freaks at the circus ,being forced to wipe the "shit covered man" just to make ends meet. This went on for years living in filth and squallor having the stench of my own unwashed scrotum scent as my only friend. One sad day after smelling my own dandruff mixed with dried urine a stranger showed up .Unlike my foul odour hers permeated my trailer with the beautiful scent of good homegrown and sweaty leather. I was immediately filled with ardour and respect until her boot came crashing in to my teeth. How could this vision of loveliness feel the need to injure such a low creature as myself? I wondered. And then she explained she and I were both hiers to a huge fortune left by one Captain Pabst of Pabst Blue Ribbon fame. Glinda made me her love/toilet slave and kept my share of the money, she makes me clean her undies with my spit. THANKS FOR NOTHING PBR.

It was raining when Mistress Glinda showed up from work early ,she was in a much more violent mood than usual and gave me a viscious growl as she threw me a doggy bag left over from her business lunch with Donald Trump. I looked up in anticapation of a pat on the head or a kind word but only recieved a snarl and dirty look accompanied by a loud fart. Glin was in a bad mood of late because her all boy nude car wash chain wasnt working out too well. I sat there nude except for my man diaper (the only thing Mistress allows) hoping I wouldnt recieve more abuse at her powerful hands. The sound of the Mistresses 5 horse power Briggs and Stratton vibrator made from lawn mower parts in her workshop/dungeon stopped and I knew she would be back with me soon. She laughed her evil laugh and played with her hair as she inspected her boots for any speck of human blood or dried semen. I guess she has hit me harder in the past but this time she nearley knocked me unconsciece with a full unopened 16 oz. can of PABST BLUE RIBBON. She then promptly squatted above my bloodied face and let loose a steaming stream of hot urine into my nose and eyes. She then walked out the door and told me to clean her period panties. THANKS FOR NOTHING PBR

THANKS EMO!

nyc tell me what you think < - > 2006-11-13 20:34:14what can i say really < - > 11/12 23:00:18 just the typical story of a recent ivy league graduate - turned high powered exchange broker turned johns hopkins squirrel ejeculator turned stage hand for bisexual dance troup touring eastern europe, only to make the atlantic crossing on a doomed norweigan frigate that would later be captured by cranked up gay somali pirates that wore rainbow tshirts and short shorts and smoked incesintly. One night, after a particularily steamy somali-on-somali sex orgy around the horn of africa, i sneaked a little of their enchanting beverage of exotic origin, pabst blue ribbon! finally something to drink that doesnt taste like somali pirate jizz, thanks PBR!

It was snowing pretty hard and Mistress Glinda had beat me close to death the night before.The only thing keeping me going was strong black coffee and the knowledge that Glinda would beat me again. My anal warts were paricualarly scabby and stinky that week so Glin let me see the doctor.Dr. Stelky probed and pushed,poked and stabbed at my bleeding diseased A hole until I nearly shot a hot load. There is no known cure for African anal warts all the medical community can do is try to ease your pain. I was given a prescription for heroin and a wonderful tonic called PABST BLUE RIBBON. Im bleeding from my colon as we speak and will probably die in the morning ,but I feel great . THANKS PBR!!

The cold was the worst part of it ,not the bugs or the dampness. I was called dog boy by the priest and they made me live in the basemant of the church . I am slightly deformed with only one eye and a club foot ,I guess you could call me a freak because of my twisted and mishapen body but the most freakish part is my huge disgusting penis . My boy bat exudes unique and disgusting odours similiar to diesel fuel mixed with baby shit and dog farts.I guess the size and shape of my big stinker is what most attracts them to my damp fetid sleeping quarters.My guy gun is about the size and shape of an Australian football only with scabs and oozing puss. O'Hara was the young new priest and he was really nice ,only punching me after he was done sodomizing me with a crucifixe and cumming in my eyesockets a few times.He was so much more kind than the older and meaner priests. My stench was permiating the entire church I knew from Father O'Hara telling me so and I figured my days were numbered .I had seen the bones of the other basement boys. Escape filled my dreams and seemed to permeate my disgusting smell with a new and vital vibrance unknown to myself or my captors which only lead to more anal abuse . I stabbed Father O'Hara in the neck with a sharpened tooth brush and mastubated in joyous delight at my impending escape all over his flowing cloak. I took the keys and let myself out at about midnight wearing father O'Haras gowns,fully confident of my plan. I made it to a convinience store and purchased sustanance for the long journey ahead ,the only employee turned his face and covered his nose in putrification and disgust at this foul smelling priest limping thru his store. When the priest dogs caught up with me by the highway I wasnt really surprised and only tried to keep my treats from outside hidden whilst being whisk away to the dungeon of perpetual pain. Amongst my purchases pork rinds , beany weineys ,doritoes,I found a tantalizing new beverage called PABST BLUE RIBBON. I still get beat and raped 6 times a day but I love PBR. THANKS PBR !!!!

Gay rape wasnt anything new to me or my blistered and stretched out colon as most of my foster homes were either ran by Italians or jewish families. Mr. DeLucca was the worst he came from Boston a known boy sodomizing mecha and enjoyed using hot red peppers on his scab covered wang prior to the initial act of violation. He wasnt so much abusive as he was fecaly obbsessed and enjoyed forcing me and his wife to roll around in steaming heaps of his digested pasta chunklettes. I knew I should get out but I had been living there for 27 years and didnt know another way of life besides selling my ass on the street. I stole 14 dollars from a fat kid that was tied up in the basement named Stinky boy and made a decision to poison Mr.DeLucca. I didnt know what type of toxin to buy so I purchased PABST BLUE RIBBON. My suicide attempt was futile after Mr. DeLucca caught me furiously masturbating on the cat while drunk on PBR and the beatings werent worth it but I love PBR and frequently sodomize the basement kid. Thanks PBR.

I shouldnt of jumped bail but the joint was a little rough the 1st time around and I wasnt lookin forward to another ride on the buttfuck merry go round. I could of copped out to the shitass charges and walked with a nickel on both the attempted M charge and the dope ,served concurrent I coulda been tastin cunt again in maybe 3 years with no fuck ups. The Australian people werent like on TV they were more like English dildos that I had met in Boston the pedophile capital of the world . I hooked up with some anal drug ingesters that I hung out with who were shipping out on a Norwegian vessel called the HMS Bloodied Colon ,I guess the name should have warned me but I was desperate. Things were pretty ugly from the start ,my colon torn to shreds and the dangling flesh being constantly fed upon by the large and vicsuious rabid rats. Along the time we reached the coast of Somalia and we were all forced to drink never ending loads of Somalian pirate spermazoa I thought about getting out. My boy cunt was beyond stretched and I could barely walk and talking was completely impossible due to the swollen cum sores on my lips and tongue. We were rounding Cape Horn when I made my move. I stole some PABST BLUE RIBBON from the captain and killed the entire crew using a dull fish cleaning knife. I had always wanted to murder 18 people in there sleep and hide out in an African village for the rest of my life. THANKS PBR

Drunken debauchery isnt a new item on my menu .I grew up in a logging camp where my mom worked as a cook and part time sap sucker . Times were more than tough I wasnt big enough to work in the woods and mom was losing her looks due to her turpentine/gin addiction. I had been violated (all in good fun)by some of moms logging buddies for years and thought that I could make a go of it in the city. My delusions of absolute grandeur and fantasies of being plowed by Brad Pitt were dashed as the only employment I could find was as a condom recycler at a Korean whorehouse.(bring your own). Until I met Frank Rothststein he was a Rabbi and a flaming homosexual craigslist poster with a penchant for dingleberries,of which I had plenty . Frank and I had good times he would make soup out of my shitballs and I would drink mai-tais and enjoy his gagging sounds. Things were great until my mom tracked me down and started shaking me down for money mommy knew that all of my dingleberries were fake because I was born with a rare genetic diseaese that made my anus and buttcheeks incapable of creating stinky love balls for my man. I had been buying shit covered hairballs from homeless men for years and trusted my asshair guys with my life .I decided these wine swilling shitball men should kill my mom. The plan went wrong and I was forced to go underground and leave my wealthy shiteating lover. I was living on the streets and trying to sell other mens shitballs for money ,things were tough but it was all I had I had become a DINGLEBERRY hustler. Then I drank Pabst blue ribbon and my life is great blah blah blah. Thanks PBR.

sfo Another Thanksgiving past < - > 2006-11-25 15:00:26My dad and some other older guys were in the basement drinking beer and watching sports on tv ,I stayed upstairs to help my mom and aunts prepare food and to hang out with my sexy cousin Frank. Im a little older than Frank but always found his long blonde hair and surfer body to be a real turn on.I had only seen Frank about twice a year since ever I caould remember and no longer thought of him as an annoying younger cousin.At 19 he had filled out in all the right places and I noticed a very manly bulge in Franks pants as he did his best to help with the holiday feast. I motioned for Frank to follow me outside so we could burn one, with hand signals and a nod of the head my plan was set in action. When we got outside and we were halfway thru our joint I just said it outright,"Frank I need your cock in my mouth"!! Frank beat me pretty bad and broke four of my ribs all the while puffing on the joint and calling me a cocksucking fairey .During the beating he mentioned he wasnt really a fan of weed anyway and prefered pabst blue ribbon. My broken nose didnt heal correctly and had to be rebroke 3 times.But I did try the beer and it was great . Thanks cousin Frank.

sfo X mas 4 years ago And late on rent and needed a starter in my crappy 1984 ford . I didnt know where I was gonna get the money to live ,let alone for xmas dinner. Around this time I started eating out of dumpsters and shoplifting alot and getting high off hairspray. One of my best friends was a dumpster diver and sphincter sniffing junkie named Bobby Scrotum ,everyone called him BS for short. He turned me on to alot of things like Gay rape,self sucking,multiple sodomistic relationships,and a beverage call pabst blue ribbon. Im dying of the aids virus and never straightened my life out. Thanks Bobby Scrotum.

Dante had a dreary existance toiling day after day in the ass picking salon . Old and overweight homos have a problem picking the dried semenal chunks from there hair covered flabby cheeks .So Dante had to go to work on there love cracks. After years of sniffing dried anal cum mixed with diareah Dante became addicted and couldnt even face the day without at least two or three lines of dried cum or powdered fecal powder. Quitting seemed impossible it was the typical downward spiral of a crack addict. Until one day when a kindly transvestite Eric was servicing gave him a wonderful new beverage called PABST BLUE RIBBON. His life quickly turned around and now he works for the President of the United States of America as a military advisor. Thanks PBR!!!!