2006-11-04 09:24:59
I was a little deperessed about the move and starting at a new school.I missed my old friends and the laughter we shared at the expense of others and the elderly and infirm. X mas morning I could hear them downstairs giggling and unwrapping gifts ,I stroked my morning wood and fumbled on my night stand for my meds and went down stairs to do my "I give a fuck" about xmas dance with my retarded family. My sisters were home from college and were modeling various types of lingerie and thong underwear for my dad just like every xmas as dear old dad sat there drinking a frozen margarita and puffing occassionaly on his favorite bong. As I entered the room I cracked a loud wet fart that made the sound of granite splitting . After exchanging dirty looks with my sisters and kissing my dad merry xmas (with tongue) I began to open my gifts . I got a pretty good sweater from my mom ,I really dont know how she did her shopping seeing as how she had been institutionalised for putting the neighbor kids hand in a blender and throwing tampons at Rabbis. I was about to leave when my oldest sister said in her shrieking voice "you missed one gift fuck nuts". When I opened it I didnt really know what it was at first,low and behold my uncle Stinky had sent me a huge buttplug and a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Well needless to say things worked out great the next year ,both my sisters were raped and murdered and I got all there clothes and dad was finally caught by the feds so I got the house and a pretty good chunk of cash which I used to purchase PBR and meds. Thanks PBR.