I shouldnt of jumped bail but the joint was a little rough the 1st time around and I wasnt lookin forward to another ride on the buttfuck merry go round. I could of copped out to the shitass charges and walked with a nickel on both the attempted M charge and the dope ,served concurrent I coulda been tastin cunt again in maybe 3 years with no fuck ups. The Australian people werent like on TV they were more like English dildos that I had met in Boston the pedophile capital of the world . I hooked up with some anal drug ingesters that I hung out with who were shipping out on a Norwegian vessel called the HMS Bloodied Colon ,I guess the name should have warned me but I was desperate. Things were pretty ugly from the start ,my colon torn to shreds and the dangling flesh being constantly fed upon by the large and vicsuious rabid rats. Along the time we reached the coast of Somalia and we were all forced to drink never ending loads of Somalian pirate spermazoa I thought about getting out. My boy cunt was beyond stretched and I could barely walk and talking was completely impossible due to the swollen cum sores on my lips and tongue. We were rounding Cape Horn when I made my move. I stole some PABST BLUE RIBBON from the captain and killed the entire crew using a dull fish cleaning knife. I had always wanted to murder 18 people in there sleep and hide out in an African village for the rest of my life. THANKS PBR